25 January 2009

But some food IS gay.

Regarding a chicken, brie, and sweetcorn pie entrée served at Christchurch, New Zealand's The Crumpet Club, the menu described the dish as, "slightly gay, I know, but oh so tasty."
Naturally, some jackass with delicate sensibilities got offended, so the description will be expunged from the menu. 
My only complaint about the pie's description is that it's a bit of a mischaracterization, because it's barely gay — and only by virtue of the brie. 
The pie would, in fact, be slightly gay if a herb or flavoring liquor was mentioned in the description (i.e. Chicken, brie, sweetcorn, and French tarragon pie. Sherry marinated chicken, brie, and sweetcorn pie.) 
The pie would be really gay if it had capers, because capers make all food really, really gay. That's just a fact. Capers are so very, very gay, they even have a gay name: "capers." Even as a verb a caper is considerably more gay than a frolic, lark, or hijink, and miles more gay than a shenanigan.
Capers are even more gay than:
Oh yeah — and speaking of food, don't forget to check out KCPT's Check, Please! on Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. (replayed at 10:30 p.m. Fridays and Sundays). It's regular folks doing restaurant reviews, hosted by area wine savant and genuine cool cat Doug Frost.
This season features many crustybastard friends kicking ass, so I'm going to pimp this thing like crazy!

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