And this is hardly the first time a PayPal agent has lied to me. So it's conceivable that despite assurances that my funds were untouched, I may in fact be without my money for a full 12 days while PayPal dicks around.
I finally found an intelligent supervisor named Sarah, and explained that under the law of agency, the false assurance I got from a corporate agent were the equivalent of having the CEO of PayPal tell me the same thing. I explained that I had acted in detrimental reliance on the agent's statement, so any liability incurred by being without sufficient funds to cover my bills was their liability, not mine.
That's right. I went there. I used the lawyer-y mumbo-jumbo. It does get their attention.
I now have "a note in my file" that they're going to "work with me" to cover late fees.
Which is probably also a lie.