06 February 2009

Taking a stand against equality.

In 1776, when we packed up England's stuff and put it on the curb, we left a note of explanation.

Dear England,

This isn't working out. Out of respect for the relationship we once had, it's only fair to tell you why. You don't treat me like your equal. But I am your equal. 

With that in mind, I'm going to focus on my own happiness. There is a litany of crap you've done to made the relationship untenable. In short, you're selfish, mean, abusive, and you don't deserve me. I warned you, but you ignored me. I'm finished warning. I realize you're probably upset. If you want to turn this into a war, fine. If you want to be friends, that's better. 

Regardless, I'm on my own now. I've changed the locks.

Your former colony

Ultimately, that's what the Declaration of Independence is — a break-up letter. It's even structured in pretty much that order. (I omitted the bit about the "merciless Indian Savages," but it'd fall under "...and I hate your friends, too." I digress.)

It was the lack of equality that really pissed the founders off. Says so in the first and second paragraphs. Equality is a no-brainer in America. Hell, equality borders on a fetish in America! 

I'm thinking about this because the lovely and talented Missouri Senator Jolie Justus (a name so awesome it sounds fictitious) reports that the assembly is again debating the Equal Rights Amendment. Her blog, freshmeat, can be found under the "crustybastard approved" list right over there ----> 

What a revolutionary idea — equality. For women! 

With this kind of radical forward-thinking from our government, can space exploration or personal computers be far behind? 

Of course there's always somebody who has to pee on the parade. Testifying against equality were Concerned Women for AmericaMissouri Family NetworkEagle ForumMissouri RoundTable for LifeMissourians United for Life, and Missouri Right to Life

Jesus, what do all these groups have in common?

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