10 September 2009

Idiots "Я" Us

[SCENE: Inside Glenn Beck's Head]
Gee, I wonder what should I put on the cover of my new book about how stupid other people are?
Hm...Oh! I know: I'll dress up in a sharp military uniform and relax my uncommonly handsome face into an natural expression of superior disdain. What other image could better underline my message of intellectual independence and laissez-faire government than posing as Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS?
Wow. I'm so awesome.
Now, what should I title my collection of conservative talking-points that is sure be hotly debated within teabagger circles? How about...Arguing With Idiots.
Perfect.
I'll put the badass photo of myself really really huge, right over the word "idiot." And I'll turn the R backwards so my fascist visual metaphor also subtly invokes communism, because they're like practically almost the same thing.
Ha! I'd like to see those smug psuedo-intellectual libtards twist this clever visual metaphor into something unintended.
Thank you, God, for making me the most brilliant and clever man in the world. I really do deserve my celebrity.
[fade to black]
I can't decide whether that doughy fuck looks like he's had a stroke or if he's enjoying the smell of his own farts.

1 chimed in:

J9 said...

I'd say he's having a stroke. You know, when normal people behave in an crazy manner, you talk to their doctor about prescribing meds, or maybe rebalancing meds. When right wing nut jobs behave, well, like themselves, but crazy by normal standards, they get a tv show and a book deal, and a platform to push their crazy to the masses.