02 February 2010

Playing to my audience.

I believe the entirety of the crustybastard audience is writers, editors, or people who probably should be.
With that in mind, here is your new indispensable reference: http://twitter.com/fakeapstylebook.
Avoid using foreign-language phrases in your articles unless they have a certain je ne sais quoi.
hell - Lowercase, but capitalize Hades. Lowercase philadelphia.
Passive voice is used when the receiver of an action is more important than the performer. Ex: Your mom was banged.
In all cases, "presidential" should be lowercase. The bloom is kind of off the rose on that one.
When attributing a quote to Paris Hilton, the preferred term is "blame."
Avoid impacting colons by choosing words that are rich in fiber.
For 1-5 pizza boxes, use the suffix -heap. For 6-10, use -henge. 10+ pizza boxes is a pizziggurat.
infinitive- A verb form that goes on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and e

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